The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
