My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
