i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
