I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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