Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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