I CAN MOONWALK!
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
