Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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