His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
