oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
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