What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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