final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
