Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
