normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
