Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Randomize
