You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
