And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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