The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
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