Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
