There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
