over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I'm really busy with my period
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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