woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
