Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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