nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Randomize
