gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
We just shotgunned beers for America
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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