He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
