btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
