Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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