Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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