i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
