I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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