dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
