We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
