they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
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