giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
