the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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