dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
When are your genitals available?
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
