garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
another moral hangover. fuck.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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