I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
