Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
it's great music for shaving your balls
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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