I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
They have beer where we have blood.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
