did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
