i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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