got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
