if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
