I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
