Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
