I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Randomize
