Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
