i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
