i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
